How has it been 11 months.....

since I held you for the first and last time........there is nothing I can type that will even express how much I love and miss you, my precious baby girl, my beautiful Angel.
I wrote to you every single day....do you know that? Do you know what I wrote? The tears, the pain, the excruciating numbness that turned to anger that turned to the deepest grief imaginable...... and the fear, the complete loss of innocence. Why?
Will I ever know?
I will never ever stop loving you baby girl, I will never not think of you 100 times a day and wonder, dream and remember.
Maybe I'm ready to understand why, but even if I'm not I'm ready to write......